On October 18, 2011 I took a leap of faith. I did not know how things would turn out. All I knew was I could not go on the way I was living. I knew that I could not allow my Husband to abuse my Daughter. I knew I was not proud of my life the way it was. I was depressed, ashamed, miserable, and a complete wreck. I felt I only had two choices. I knew I could not live another day with the way things were. So I had to either committ suicide and do it right this time or take a chance by attempting to leave Jeff. It was very scarey but I knew suicide was not the answer so I had to risk it for the biscuit! I chose life! That would be one of the scariest days of my life. I am very proud to say that I made the right decision.

I am not going to lie to you, these past few months have been very uncomfortable and scarey. I have cried many tears. There have been many sleepless nights. One thing I know for sure is that it has all been worth it! I have learned a great deal and are still learning new things everyday! I do not regret my decision to leave Jeff! It is the best thing I have done in many years.

My Husband changed over the years and not for the better. He was not the man I married at all. With each month of marriage he changed gradually into someone I no longer loved or cared about. I despise what he became. In the end I felt I was living with a complete stranger. I do not know what happend. All I know for sure was in the end he was addicted to pornography and it turned him into someone I could no longer live with. He refused to get help.I begged and begged all all he did was make empty promises and many excuses. His addiction got so out of control that it was ruling his life. He even quit his job and immersed himself even deeper into the world of porn. I could not believe that I married someone like this. Had I known he was a porn addict or addict of any kind I would have never married this man! He kept lying to me and cheating on me. It was not just adult porn either. He loved teen porn and then had to live out his addiction in real life. When he touched my Daughter he crossed the line and I had to make a choice. I chose my Daughter.

Now I have moved on and are working hard to turn my life around. I am finding healing and faith. I am now proud to report I am a born again Christian. I am far from perfect but are a work in process. I know I need to work on cleaning up my language and my way of thinking still but I can honestly say that I am now in a support group and are seriously putting forth the effort. Some bad habits are easier to give up than others. I work everyday to retrain my thinking. I am learning to take control my feelings and emotions. I am now healed from Depression hope someday to be healed of anxiety. I am learning to become a more positive person. I long to become a better role model and inspiration to my dear Daughter whom I love more than life itself!

I am now taking classes and working on rebuilding my self-confidence and self-esteem. With each new accomplishment I feel so much better about myself. I am doing things now that I have never thought possible for me! I am making new friends! I honestly love my new life!!!

I am so glad that I took that leap of faith and ran for my life! I have not looked back and will not! My only regret is that I did not do it sooner! I look forward to each and every new day and all of the blessings God is giving us!

I have so much to look forward to now! I hope someday to rehabilitate and return to work. I long to become a Law Student. I dream of becoming a New York Times Best Selling Author and an Attorney. I would love to fight for the rights of victims of Domestic Violence someday. I would love to be able to help women who are going through what I have endured with abusive men who have no respect for women.

I am learning that through Christ our Lord that anything is possible if you just believe! Now that I am becoming a strong Christian woman I am seeing that there is nothing that I cannot do! Without all of the negative influence upon me I feel so free, alive, and happy! My days are now filled with peace and joy! It is a great feeling! I cannot wait to see where I am at a year from now! I am so excited about my new life!!!

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